Analysis of the Sniper Update: pt 2

COULD THE SNIPER UPDATE BE FAKE?

Part 2: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 1: First unlockable Weapon

In my previous post I listed some reasons why the sniper update is fake, in chronological order. This is part 2, where I am going to continue my theory.

Yesterday’s point total:

195

Today’s point total:

110

FAKE POINTS SO FAR:

305$ (AUD)

 

May 12th, 2009 (post 1) (day 1)

YOU WILL SHOOT THEM AND THEY WILL STICK TO THE WALL AND THEY WILL DIE

YOU WILL SHOOT THEM AND THEY WILL STICK TO THE WALL AND THEY WILL DIE

Well, this is the start of the big one; Real news and an update page about the sniper. They threw together their system for releasing news on a regular basis, and so far it looks FAKE.

May 12th’s news:

THE HUNTSMAN

The huntsman is essentially what everyone on the steam powered forums has been requesting; some kind of crossbow, longbow, or compound bow whos arrows/bolts stick ragdolls into walls and arrows into players. I saw that request so many times, and I am almost certain at least one of the dozens of threads even had the name “Huntsman”, or something similiar.

+75 points for uncreative ideas that have already been implemented in other valve games

Next let’s look at the model of the bow and its arrows. Looks very simplistic, and not that attractive from a first person perspective.

+8 points for having the model actually look nice as if you would implement this weapon.

Let’s disect the linguistics of our blog post now, shall we?

YOU WILL SHOOT THEM AND THEY WILL STICK TO THE WALL AND THEY WILL DIE

I think it’s pretty obvious. The sniper is one of the most serious characters in the tf2 world, why would an advertisement regarding him be so… comedic? BECAUSE IT IS OBVIOUSLY A FAKE.

+20 points for making it SO OBVIOUS Valve.

May 12th, 2009: 103 points (post 1)

 

May 12th, 2009 (post 2)

This was NOT posted by our regular “TF Team”, but instead none other than Robin Walker.

The context is just merely restating the idea of the huntsman, as to make sure some things were not misinterpreted.

We can’t really tear apart Robin Walker’s Wonderous Writing, so instead, lets look at our OBVIOUS PHOTOSHOP image.

Inaligned

Inaligned

 

Just look at that!

We got an arrow, which has created a giant dent that appears oh-so-perfectly round sticking into a metal plate. Doesn’t really fit an arrow doesn’t it?

+1 point for being too lazy to make a new mark for the arrow.

Our arrow is also uncoloured. I would expect valve to have something as simple as a fletching be the enemy team’s colour!

+1 point for more laziness

The arrow does not look right either. THAT’S BECAUSE THE BACK END DOES NOT LINE UP WITH THE OTHER END.

+1 point for photoshop laziness

And finally, enough about the arrow. For we have an even greater problem!

See that? Right there, on his vest. Yea, that. It’s a dot. A RED dot. As in, a FRIENDLY teammate’s dot. Valve was even too lazy to make that either A) Not show or B) The correct colour.

So +4 points for lazy, lazy, laziness

May 12th, 2009: 7 points (post 2)

 

 

Points so far:

305 really fake points.

 


Useful links:

  1. Part 1: A disection of  Some Sniper News
  2. Part 2: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 1: First unlockable Weapon
  3. Part 3: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 2: New Maps
  4. Part 4: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 3: Second Unlockable Weapon
  5. Part 5: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 4: Spy Catalog
  6. Part 6: Some Sniper Update Truth
  7. Part 7: Interviews with important people concerning Sniper Updates
  8. Part 8: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 5: Unnanounced
  9. Part 9: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 6: Unnanounced
  10. Part 10: The Truth
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