Analysis of the Sniper Update: pt 5


Part 5: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 4: Spytech Catalog

In my previous posts I listed some reasons why the sniper update is fake, in chronological order. This is part 5, where I am going to continue my theory with day 4 of the announced “Sniper” Update.

Yesterday’s point total:


Today’s point total:



1278$ (AUD)

May 15th, 2009 (Day 4)

The spy's knife?!

The spy's knife?!

This post is of the sniper with a page from an official spytech catolog. The sniper has some circles around some of the items, which he plans to purchase. He also mentions other items and how ineffective they are. Now, normally, this would be fine for any class. But here at threefourt, we think that the sniper is a spy. And if you look closely at each item, you will see that a spy would be more fit to choose these items for purchase. Let’s take a look at the first circled item. “The ‘Dead Ringer’ Spy Watch”. Now, the name itself, should be a “dead” giveaway. It says right there that it is a SPY watch. Snipers DON’T wear watches. Why would the sniper need to know the time, when they hang around battlements for hours. They easily lose track of time, since they can be found hanging around for days on end.


+15 points for valve giving a watch to a class which has no use for it.

Next, the same item, would be much more fitting for teh spy. After all, it is a SPY watch.  I mean, the sniper doesn’t need to act dead when they could be shootin’ their bows.

+6 points for valve giving a watch which would be more fitting for the SPY.

Let’s look at the next item. CRAB WALKING KIT. Now, can anyone tell me what a sniper would do with a crab walking kit? Well, he is australian, and in australia, they might have some giant crabs, but that doesn’t mean the sniper needs to act like one. I think the CRAB WALKING KIT is actually for the spy. After all, it looks like a reference to the old exploit of SPY CRABs. However, a crab walking sniper would be very entertaining.

+25 points for crab walking snipers.

Now let’s look at the sniper. Yea, look closely bro. What’s that? In his back? Yea, that’s a fucking knife. Not anyones knife, but the spy‘s knife. Yea, I think that clearly shows this as a subtle hint from our pals at valve’s.

+30 points for our inside people stabbin them graphics designers.

There is so much stuff in this new update, that I am overwhelmed! To make things easier on me and the reader, I am giving valve 100 complimentary fake points to show the rest of the subjects as fake. If you take your time and read through their post, you will see that those points are quite fitting, and would kindly agree with me.

+100 points complimentary for valve.

May 15th, 2009: 161 points

Points so far:

1278 really fake points yet so far.



Useful links:

  1. Part 1: A disection of  Some Sniper News
  2. Part 2: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 1: First unlockable Weapon
  3. Part 3: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 2: New Maps
  4. Part 4: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 3: Second Unlockable Weapon
  5. Part 5: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 4: Spy Catalog
  6. Part 6: Some Sniper Update Truth
  7. Part 7: Interviews with important people concerning Sniper Updates
  8. Part 8: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 5: Unnanounced
  9. Part 9: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 6: Unnanounced
  10. Part 10: The Truth

17 Responses

  1. hi

  2. That page was the spy page… why do you think it had a spy on it?

  3. Rewrite it. NOW!
    Sniper doesn’t use that handwriting.

  4. fuck ur shit ok ur being dumb and ignorant

  5. You FUCKING MORON! This is very clearly a Spy update as well as a Sniper update! No analysis needs to be done because Valve has already commented on it!


  7. Well, good shot in some aspects, if you really found them on your own that is ;], part 5 is just odd though…
    And those claims for ideas you (or your friend) had are annoying, it just isn’t true. But well, that’s how you get responses… =P

  8. Your just pointing out obvious things…. obvious spy update is obvious…. stop trying to act smart… lol…

  9. It’s for the Spy.

    Why would the update be fake, anyway? Doesn’t make sense to me at all.

  10. Seriously, you wrote an article a day, and now you haven’t updated a post in which you’ve had 2 days on?
    And the whole post is wrong, considering these are useful spy unlocks. And as I’ve said several times, a baccarat machine, for the sniper? Crab walking kit? Neither of these are hardly related to the sniper AT ALL.

  11. Still haven’t updated this, the longer you have this here, the more you’ll look like a fool

  12. No offense, but this series is very stupid, and frankly, I think it makes you look like an idiot, and from the way you’re acting, you actually might be one. So please, just get your facts straight and simply use an UNDERSTANDABLE system for points, since adding 200 points to one thing, and then later 500 to the same thing is very dumb looking, and also signs that you have no idea what you are talking about. Good day.
    Now, where did I leave the dead ringer, my sappers, and butterfly knife…
    (Look at first letters of fake name)

  13. are you retarded?

    • No, dear sir, I think you might be, however, and no doubt about it this article is…
      Good Day

  14. We have seen that link now, but still, when the update is out, you haven’t updated it yet?

  15. lol

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