Classless update: Hidden Secrets

A lot of people wanted me to talk about a few things found on the classless repository that teamfortress.com has been hosting. Mainly, a few secret hidden webpages.

http://www.teamfortress.com/classless/hidden/hats/
http://www.teamfortress.com/classless/hidden/barbary/
http://www.teamfortress.com/classless/hidden/advertisement/
http://www.teamfortress.com/classless/hidden/enigmatical/

Four pages, all official and all a bit unexpecting.

Let’s look at the first one. The “Hats” Comic. If you read the clippings, you’ll find out that it talks abou a recipe for Gooseberry Vinegar. DELICIOUS! How is this related to tf2? Well I’m lost there. Usually I’ll have some really witty link, but I have none. The magazine is supposed to be MANLY but I cannot relate vinegar to-
WAIT Just a minute!
We all know the manliest men known to man are dwarves, but those aren’t in tf2, so the next best thing must be the Soldier.
The soldier, according to my predictions, is the next class to be updated. THEREFORE….
Soldier gets a lunchbox item; Gooseberry Vinegar. How this will play out? I have no idea.
This comic also plays on the act of bartering and trading, which was promised when the weird method of weapon drops was implemented. Could this be a new feature in the update? I hope to god so.

The image itself isn’t much surprising. We had already seen the duo-of-top-hats in the Day One page, and this other guy is a mere peasant.

Looking at Barbary:

We have our duo-of-top-hats again, this time they are wagering over two commoners engaged in a round of fisticuffs. The winner claims that they will recieve one of the oponents fine hats. Could this be ANOTHER feature in trading? A gamble of skill, a wager on a team, with the prize being YOUR HAT?

Next we have the advertisement

It’s a newspaper clipping recruiting children to work in factories to produce an array of things, perhaps hats? This also mentions more “Gambling”. We also learn some of MANN CO.s history, knowing that they were in the industrial bussiness around the early 1800s. They also had a different name back then; Zephinian Mann & Sons Co.

Finally, we bring ourselves to the zephyr.

Mentioning BROADSWORDS. You know what? With the new soldier hat, this would fit as a new unlock. A broad sword. Looks like the soldier is geting a LARPing outfit. The very next thing mentioned is MUSKET GONNES. I doubt the soldier would get a musket, that doesn’t seem likely for valve to mention ALL the soldier’s unlocks in one day. Unlikely, but this could be wrong. And finally, DOMESDAY WEAPONRY. Doomsday weaponry? Probably things such as rockets and MISSILE SILOs, so I don’t think thats anything new.

Now, you guys are probably thinking WHY DO YOU KEEP THINKING YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT THE SOLDIER UPDATE?

The answer; Because I am right. If you look at the bottom left of the Zeppelin pamphlet (last link) you will see that it says NEXT UP: THE ART OF THE SOLDIER (rough translation). If that doesn’t give it away, you are stupid.

So, in conclusion; Trading Items, Gambling Items, and three soldier weapons:

Broad Sword

Gooseberry Vinegar

Musket Gun

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2 Responses

  1. ur a fgt

  2. no

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