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An Idle Story

In case you haven’t heard, the SteamStats program is illegal. Says so in the End User License Agreement for steam. Ya, that thing no one reads, but agrees to it anyway. Everyone cheated, all 12,000 people. 4.5%. I cheated.

Now, someone then brought up the EULA, and posted about it, saying that it was INDEED illegal. I read through, and thoroughly agreed. I went and deleted my shameful items that I had “earned” from that program. I emailed Robin Walker directly afterwards, wanting his personal forgiveness. In case you didn’t know, Gabe Newell is my god. Every day I pray to him, and sometimes I pray to the many deities below him. Jason Holtman, Marc Laidlaw, and even Robin Walker. I wanted his forgiveness, to go into the gates of Valve heaven with a clean soul, before the rapture occurs, as so I don’t spend fifteen years on the world whilst it is in turmoil. I don’t want a second chance, I want to use my first. So I did it. I cleansed my backpack and praised to Valve for forgiveness.

Little did I know, that of which I feared would fall onto the day following. I never got a response from the email, and nothing had been added in the day’s update. I played tf2 for a while, and quit. Later that day word got around, that HONEST players had received a hat. I launched tf2, and nothing. I was honest. I told Valve the moment I knew. I was not worthy, or I came too late. 96% of all tf2 players had received a Halo hat. The other 4% used the idling program, had not. They had a message pop-up saying that their backpacks were wiped of all weapons and hats achieved by using this program. I did not get that message. I had nothing to lose, I had cleansed myself the day before. I was in limbo.

Watching people being burned by this awful text at which they saw, the moment joining a tf2 server. People above bragging about some hat. 90% of the players had no idea what it was for. No one was honest. War broke loose. Those who had Halos would kick the opposing faction from their server, sometimes even ban. Bring them down with derogatory words. Anything to show that they were better. The naive simply believed that everyone who had not had a Halo had cheated, and as such they should be punished. They think they did something good by not finding the cake.

One child, in the party. Twenty five friends showed up. As did you. You all had fun. Played some games. The birthday boy opens a present and gladly lets you play with one of the many toys. A small toy car. Driving it around everywhere and thoroughly enjoying yourself, everyone was happy, no one was jealous. If they wanted to play with the car, it was right there in front of them. But more than twenty of them were in another room, playing pin the tail on the donkey. But they were the birthday boy’s. Then, something dreadful happens. You bend the car. You didn’t know it would not be able to bend that way! Now the car is broken. You broke it. Your mom comes in, and tells you that you will not get ice-cream. Every other child in the room get’s some cake and ice-cream. They all eat it in front of you. They all gloat. And there is nothing you can do about, except wait until the party is over.

The problem here is that the party is NOT over. Valve gave everyone cake. But this time, they get to have their cake, and eat it too. Forever. In front of you. Nothing you can do. You said sorry, but oh well. There’s plenty more cake, but you can’t have any.

Back in hell on earth, even more rage breaks out. Everyone is hating everyone. Hell is still on earth. And it won’t be for another eternity until you get your second chance into Robin Walker’s Pearly Gates.


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