Movies to Watch for Christmas Break

You have a lot of time on your hands. The rest of the year spans nearly 10 days, and you have a lot of time on your hands. You realize that you are all alone, living in a studio, eating ramen out of a Big Gulp cup using a Ruler to assist in consuming the salty meal while watching the latest episode of Kampfer. You then realize that anime is not something you want to waste the rest of your time off on, and decide you should instead invest in some cultural catch-up to be prepared for those once-in-a-lifetime social interactions. But where do you start? There is a vast amount of information out there, and every person hasn’t seen it all, and not all of them have seen the same thing. You must be prepared to waste the next 10 years researching anything that might be brought up when you are hanging out at your diabetic father’s funeral, and are forced to converse with people you have never met before.

You could just watch old movies that aired on scifi like Gardener Guy or The Human Diptera, and just claim that those films were you and your father’s pasttime as you sat on the couch when visiting his smokey, porn-filled room. But if I were you, I would make myself known that I too have a higher intellect than those around me. I would watch MOVIES.

  • Kelly’s Heroes
    • You take unique characters, comedy, and style and throw it into a World War II movie worth watching, and you get this. It is not your generic LET’S SHOOT GERMANS GUYS movie, although that does happen at least twice.
    • Some Movie References You Might Know Already:
      • Sherman tanks are the most kickin’ rad tanks. It’s because of this film. Nothing else has ever represented a Sherman as being shear awesome.
      • Loot. The term “loot”, which means to pillage what is unowned, was originated in this movie as hippy mumbo-jumbo.
      • Nazi Gold. You aren’t going to find a film mentioning this term later than this.
      • Paintball. Originally concieved through the reception of this film. An Entrepreneur saw this movie, and saw some of the best ways to supplement live-action rounds, and made a hefty amount of “loot”.
  • Jaws
    • This is a super-serious movie, so don’t think you are going to get a laugh out of this. Nearly everyone has made at least three references to this movie. The world’s most notable Stephen King book interpreted by into world’s most notable Stephen Spielberg’s movie, this is truly an orchestral masterpiece.
    • Some Movie References You Might Know Already:
      • Propane Tanks. Noone has actually seen them if they haven’t actually been on a boat. This movie really showed the pure force compressed air. Ever since this movie, advancements in anti-shark and pro-hydrolics have dramatically improved.
      • Dun-Dun. Dun-Dun. Dun-Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. DUN! The classic suspense music. Just when you think it dies out a tremendous bass hits you and knocks you out of your seat for a real thrill-ride.
      • “We’re going to need a bigger boat”. Have you seen the size of that thing? It sure ain’t ganna fit on this pathetic fishing vessel. Instant Internet Idiom.
      • “Come on into the water!”. It’s perfectly safe! Just like the classic “Stop it, don’t open that door!”, this now-common phrase used to represent irony, was originated from this film.
  • Back to the Future
    • Athough I never read the book, I have to say the movie is a perfect reenactment. One of the hardest things for me is to stop comprehending how and start thinking why. This movie will test your moral standing, and make you reconsider the value of a single human’s soul.
    • Some Movie References You Might Know Already:
      • “1.21 Gigawatts”. 1.21 Gigawatts? GREAT SCOTT. Despite no one being named scott in the film as far as I am aware of, this is another origin of a common-place series of words.
      • DeLorean. Now this car existed prior the movie’s release, but this film really popularized the best car to ever hit the market. Go on, name one cooler looking car.
      • 88mph. This is the speed that a flux capacitor must move in order to travel through time. Learn that and you will have no problem discussing quantum mechanics with your smart friends.
      • People will slowly fade from a photograph if they cease to exist. It’s true. Just snap a photo of yourself, then kill yourself. Through quantum unfolding your alive self will take a picture of yourself and then you will slowly fade out although you are already dead.

Well, I hope you guys liked my holiday movie catch-ups. Now you will have something to talk about at the big Christmas Party you weren’t invited to.


One Response

  1. There was a book based on Back to the Future?

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