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The Future of the Fortress (Threefourt.com)

If you’re one of the few lucky individuals who took a tour of our brand new official Threefourt office last week you probably heard a few nasty words come out of our mouths in regards to how we feel about Team Fortress 2. We apologize for any pain these words might have caused, but nowadays it’s hardly a rare occurrence to hear some employee complain “I’m fuck-sick of Team Fortress 2.”

And it’s true. I’m going to be the first one to make this official announcement: here at Threefourt.com, we are fuck-sick of Team Fortress 2.

We realize this might come as a disappointment for so many of our readers who come here for our exclusive Team Fortress 2 articles. Don’t worry, we’ll still be writing such articles. Currently, zzzdude and I are currently devising a system we call “procedural writing” as a way of generating enjoyable articles which will hopefully streamline the writing process and make things easier on us (the writers) and more enjoyable for you (the readers). Both zzzdude and I have very little experience coding such complex programs, so it’s been a long and arduous journey to get to the point which we are now where we feel confident this new method of writing is as convincing as a real person.

In the next few days you should hopefully see a new article being posted by either triple-z or myself showcasing this new technology. If we’ve done it right, you shouldn’t even be able to tell a computer wrote it. However, it won’t be without its own bugs so if you catch any please email us a comprehensive bug report so we can hopefully fix these minor errors before they become too problematic. If we are sufficiently satisfied with the response, every post here on out will be procedurally generated.

Thank you for your readership,

~~ Xx-releasecandidate-xX ~~

by the way, I’ve been kidnapped by the Mexican drug cartel if someone could please contact my mother Ann Baker in Norcross, GA and tell her I’m alright, I’d be very thankful.



One Response

  1. don’t you mean “fourtress”? ohoho!

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