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How-To: Blog Post to ThreeFourt

Welcome to the first installment of the new series, “How-To Blog Post:”! This is a crash course to introduce you to the life of a full-time blog-poster (blogger?), and walk you through some of the rigorous steps required to create a high-end post suitable for the judgmental eyes of the many.

Today will be the technical side of posting, where we assume we have all body and formatting complete and wish to deposit our enlightenment unto the blog-o-sphere. I know to you tech-savvy nerds out there, this may seem redundant or repetitive to the skillset you’ve acquired throughout your life, but not all of America is a large, round object sitting around a computer developing poor acne from the vast array of frequencies excreted from your tower of Mountain Dew cans, dusty electrical components, cat hair, and fingernail clippings (or perhaps you have individual stacks for each of these items; some basement dwellers are organized).

STEP THE FIRST (1)

Before we can possibly begin, you absolutely need to navigate to the main page of the blog. Since our domain has expired, we are now located in a sad sub-domain, and instead of our full-fledged URL we have to settle with “https://threefourt.wordpress.com/” (Feel free to click the link, it’ll send you right over).

STEP 2?

Now that you’ve navigated successfully to my website/webpage/webblog, you can begin to make an impact! Down on the bottom right of the right-hand collumn of the main page (where it says “home” at the top and underlined), just below the “Blog Stats” entry and even further below the “Login” text (the first one) and subsequent “Register” hyperlink, therein lies the gateway and door to the realm of quality blogging. I know this may sound confusing, but I’ve provided an image to show you what you are looking for when on my page/site/book. Just click the “Log In” link and you should be sent to step 3.

STEP NUMBER THREE

This is a verification step. After the hard troubles of the previous step, you will know if you were successful if your webpage has something that looks like the following image. If it does not, try going back to Step 2 (or Step 1 if you suspect a faulty webpage).

#4 A STEP IN PROGRESS

Oops I’m sorry, I forgot about the login screen. This screen should actually show (so disregard step 3, it’s only relevant after step 4). The login username is [Yourname] followed by [yourpassword]. Remove the brackets when you type it in! For example, my username is [zzzdude] and my password is [••••••••] without brackets.

STEP FIFTH

Now follow step #3 and skip step #4 for step #5 and instead go to step #6 when you’re done. Should look like this:

STEP SEVEN SIX

We’re almost there! All we have left to do is follow strict methodologies to concoct a substantial composition of fundamental testaments which can be portrayed as a doctrine of principle for my acolytes.

(Easy part)

Once you have the “Title”, “Content”, and “Tags” fields filled out, you can go ahead and Save the Draft ( I won’t go into the details), or you can do as I do and immediately click the PUBLISH button as seen in the last image of this series.

And you are done. For ever.

You will rarely have to edit this post (I may go into this further at a later time), and you will have a large fanbase applauding in no time.
Until the next update,

this has been zzzdude

AKA threefourt

AKA Stephen G. Mangum

AKA BagOfDucks

AKA That Asshole Who Won’t Get Off the Public Computer So I Can Finish My Twelve Page Essay

R.I.P. The Pyro

The Pyro is dead, long live the Pyro! Valve has made some drastic changes to the Team Fortress 2 flamethrower class. What does it all mean?

I have just been informed by PC GAMER (They personally email me in regards to Team Fortress 2 news, Thanks PC GAMER!) that Valve has removed the Pyro from TF2. This is a pretty big change. Now, I don’t have TF2 installed anymore, and haven’t played it in months, but I can make valid assumptions based on this new news.

What we know, for certain:

What we can assume, for certain:

  • 12 year old babies can no longer hold W+M1 when playing their favourite class, ’cause it was removed from the game.
  • 13 year old children can no longer hold +Forward and +Attack when playing their favourite class, because it was removed from Team Fortress 2.
  • Team Fortress 2 will never be the same, even if it is for the better. The game has changed.
  • New tactics are sure to arise. Without having to worry about those pestering Flamers.

Diagnosis:

Ever since the decline of Team Fortress 2, and the rise to fame I had received because of it, the game has gone through dramatic changes. Most people spend their time waiting, doing nothing, idling. Sure they fixed it, but it still there. The impatience and exclusivity which comes with unique gear based on a time variable. I have been meaning to write a discussion regarding the terms of “Exclusive”, so be on the lookout for the new post, but that’s for a later time. Right now, TF2 is a new game.

There are no pyros (according to PC GAMER), so players are forced to play a class that requires skill. This means a lot of useless members on your team who don’t know how to play their class. This is good! They become cannon fodder for those who are truly skilled masters of the game. Those who are at the top are now going to have a much easier time. Scouts will no longer fear melee range for any class. Soldiers will no longer fear their own rockets. Demomen will no longer fear being outran by a flaming leviation. HWM will no longer fear being outran by a flaming leviathon. The engineer will no longer fear strafing runs and devastating burns. Medics will no longer fear damage over time. Snipers will no longer fear people clouding their view when they are trying to shoot. Spys will no longer fear being undisguised.

HOWEVER. Those like me who have lost interest in the game, are not going to want back in. We were at the top, all the time. The game is now easier, so what’s the point?

Also new hats, need to check those out.

*I have just been informed that this may be a misinterpretation. However, I would much rather trust PC GAMER over a random anonymous member of the internet.

Glitch Fortress.

Oh hi!
It’s time for my weekly installment of  a giant wall of text you don’t want to read, but you’re bored as hell and have nothing better to do.

Now that valve has released a update/2nd update 3rd update, things have calmed down a little bit. Many of the server/client  crashing  bugs have been fixed from the WAR update, it seems like the one’s that were still a problem before the update, such as Pyros being able to flame through gates, have not been fixed.( Thanks Valve! :D )

With only the Engineer update left, what will valve do next?(Besides count their money) We still have 2 more “Meet the” clips, with rumors of the voice actor who did the medic not being able to make it due to being in Zimbabwe another country. Also, their is some small rumors that their well be a “Meet the Team” movies, consisting of meeting the Red and BLu teams. Will TF2 go the way of CS:S? The most recent update for CS:S consisted of a few minor bug fixes, with the update before that was January 29th of this year(2009, for those who do know). Hopefully, Valve will continue to fix bugs and release class specific updates, as their playerbase is almost as big as the fanbase. Personally, I think valve should release “OFFICIAL” Valve made push maps(such as cp_well), and stop bringing up new play styles. As for now, we have our trading system to look forward to next year(AKA when HL2:EP 3 comes out, in 3 years).

On a separate note, did you know it takes about 118 items to craft a class specific hat? Yeah, think about it for a second. Let that sink in. Now think about it this way. If you’re going for that nice Demo Top Hat(which I have been looking forward to, but never have gotten), That takes 3 refined metals and a Demo Class token. each refined metal is 3 reclaimed metals, and each reclaimed metal is 3 scrap metals. WOW. Seriously? And thats if you’re lucky enough to craft a token for the class you want. Then, you still have a chance to NOT get the hat you want. Why? Because their are 2 Demo hats, thus giving you a 50/50 chance. Now, i’m no mathematician, but you’re SCREWED.

-SpaZ

Classless Update: Day 1

What do we have here? A new update? AND IT’S NOT A CLASS UPDATE?
Amazing. Something I would have never seen coming.
Let us analyze this update to the full extent, taking in all the news we have recieved.

18 NEW HATS

Now we haven’t seen all of the hats, so I made a spiffy checklist!

Scout	[ ][ ]
Soldier	[ ][ ]
Pyro	[ ][ ]
Demo	[ ][ ]
Heavy	[ ][ ]
Engi	[ ][ ]
Medic	[ ][ ]
Sniper	[ ][ ]
Spy	[ ][ ]

Everytime we see a new hat, we simply check a box which will be shown at the end of each page. We will also have a link inside that box to the relevant post which first introduced said hat. Now that we have our organization taken care of, let’s look at the hats of today!

engi and heavy 1

Goddamnit what is that hat called?!

First off, we have the engineer. We all know he’s from texas, and what is more befitting than a cowboy’s hat? We know that when on the red team it is white. Perhaps black or brown when on blue? Similiar to the spy’s cigarette.

In the same image we have the heavy. And he is wearing a… whatever you call it. A russian hat. Heavy is russian, so he wears a russian hat. Glad to see that valve thinks in a logical sense. I still want my Fez though…

I'M GANNA HEADBUTT YA

I'M GANNA HEADBUTT YA

The scout’s hat, or lack thereof, is just that; no hat. We sometimes see this in-game, when a scout loses his helmet. It’s quite a sight to see, since it makes him look like the medic.

Now we have the “Featured” Hats.

soldier 1

Sun Tzu said that

Starting with the soldier. He is wearing a very vibrant viking vestigal. Like all hats, rather pointless, but this one is even more-so pointless. The soldier isn’t a viking, nor is he even related to vikings. Sure this hat could be a relation to midevil settings, but we all know Battlefield Heroes is having this months special customization items to be in the same theme. Valve doesn’t copy people.

That spy is an oddjob

That spy is an oddjob

The spy REALLY deserves a bowlers cap, almost as much as a top-hat. Why? Well if you really have to ask that you need to watch more of the classic GOOD James Bond movies. One of the key villains wears a bowlers cap, but not any old ordinary bowling cap; A SHARP EDGED THROWING BOWLING CAP THAT CAN DECAPITATE PEOPLE.

Finally we have the pyro’s new hat. It’s a fireman’s helmet. You know why this is bad? Well the community had already made a pyro’s fire helmet which looks very similiar to that. Like I mentioned before, Valve doesn’t copy people. That means, they contacted the person who made the fireman’s cap, and asked them to put it in their update. Valve is awesome.

A gas mask and a helmet. He's unstoppable.

A gas mask and a helmet. He's unstoppable.

Now this post is arlready getting lengthy, but I’m still not done! We have an entire map to analyze! Lucky for you, it’s an arena map, which means it’s quite small.

Mountain?

Mountain?

Arena_Offblast might look like an ordinary old rocky mountain, but really, deep inside, is a secret missile silo being constantly battled over by RED and BLU. Surrounding the edges of the map are shear cliff drops, forcing you to stay close to the center. Demomen, sentries, scouts, and soldiers will be deadly on the exterior of this cold, hard shell.

FINAL VERDICT:

Scout	[ ][ ]
Soldier	[VIKING][ ]
Pyro	[FIREMAN][ ]
Demo	[ ][ ]
Heavy	[USHANKA][ ]
Engi	[COWBOY][ ]
Medic	[ ][ ]
Sniper	[ ][ ]
Spy	[BOWLERS][ ]
Other:
new maps	[OFFBLAST][ ]

Soldier Update Predicitions pt2

Slot 1: The rockets

Before: Rocket Launcher
With a clip size of 4, this fires explosives in a rather slow and straight path. When these rockets hit their target, they explode, damaging anything within a small blast radius. Often hated by anyone not playing a soldier due to the high crit rate and damage output. Can be used to “rocket jump”, where the player or enemy is launched into the air.

A Rocket Launcer? How Intrusive!

A Rocket Launcer? How Intrusive!

After: Rocket Man!
Retaining most of hte attributes of the rocket launcher, this replacement removes critical hits, applying minicrits to players in the air. This is not a set-back for the rocket-jumper, as you jump at the same time as you blast off, the minicrits will not apply to you unless you try to rocket-wall-jump, where boosts are needed to be bigger. Although the controlled crits are not nearly as big, there is another upside to this weapon; the radius of the explosion is twice as large, letting you take out those annoying sentries around the corner with ease.

Useful links:

  1. Part 1: Why?
  2. Part 2: Slot 1 Prediction
  3. Part 3: Slot 2 Prediction
  4. Part 4: Slot 3 Prediction
  5. Part 5: Hats and other things
Special thanks to INTOX.Joe for the name of the unlock!

Soldier Update Predictions pt1

In case you forgot, I have been RIGHT every time there is an update. IE during hte medic update i said the classes would come out in this order:

A proud man stands before his fellow recruits.

A proud man stands before his fellow recruits.

Medic
Pyro
Heavy
Scout
Spy
Sniper
Soldier
Demo
Engineer

Therefore, Soldier is next.

I’ve been right yet so far, and there’s no reason why the soldier WON’T be next. Considering last update had two classes however, the soldier might be released with the demoman, or with the demo and engineer. They might not want to have the engineer as a predictable update, and release the demoman with it. Either way, soldier is next. Anyway, on to my Soldier-Style TF2 weapon predictions.

Useful links:

  1. Part 1: Why?
  2. Part 2: Slot 1 Prediction
  3. Part 3: Slot 2 Prediction
  4. Part 4: Slot 3 Prediction
  5. Part 5: Hats and other things

Analysis of the Sniper Update: pt 4

COULD THE SNIPER UPDATE BE FAKE?

Part 4: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 3: Second Unlockable Weapon

In my previous posts I listed some reasons why the sniper update is fake, in chronological order. This is part 4, where I am going to continue my theory with day 3 of the announced “Sniper” Update.

Yesterday’s point total:

612

Today’s point total:

505

FAKE POINTS SO FAR:

1117$ (AUD)

May 14th, 2009 (Day 3)

NEW REVOLVER?!

NEW REVOLVER?! NEW WATCH?!

Ooooooooh boy. Valve did it this time! They totally gave it away!

Earlier today, around 2 pm, I went to http://www.teamfortress.com/sniperupdate/ to see if Valve has announced todays FALSE NEWS. What do you know! They did! This update was a shield which prevented backstabs at the cost of slow movement speed (yet another idea they stole from ME. Yea, I may have suggested a lawn chair, BUT ITS THE SAME THING ESSENTIALLY.

+15 points for stealing my idea AGAIN.

Next let’s look at their example spy (the one who had died from something or another). LOOK CLOSELY. See it?

Yea, that’s right. The pistol’s colour is off. The normal pistol is of a much darker colour and less-sleak shape than what is shown. MIGHT THIS BE A SUBTLE HINT FROM VALVE TO HELP SHOW THAT I AM CORRECT? Yes, it is.

Oh wait. See another thing? Yea, the spy isn’t wearing his watch. So where is it? Look at his left hand. Yea, that bad lighting which makes his glove look yellow IS ACTUALLY the spy holding a golden pocket watch!

THAT IS A TOTAL OF THREE WEAPONS IN ONE DAY SHOWN. Amazing

+275 points for love from Valve.

IT WAS A SPY ALL ALONG XD

IT WAS A SPY ALL ALONG?!

Oh wait, you might be thinking, WHAT ELSE IS HERE TO PICK AT?!

Well, I gatta say, IT ISN’T THERE!

The thing I am picking at DOES NOT EXIST ANYMORE.

captains log: star date 05142009

I check out our sniper update, ready to see what new stuff concerning our sniper that I can tear apart. A SPY IS HANGING BEHIND THE SNIPER.

yea, the sniper isn’t there anymore.

THAT’S BECAUSE THEY ONCE AGAIN NEW THAT I WOULD TEAR APART THAT SPY INTO SOMETHING TO DISPROVE THE SNIPER. But their plan backfired! I managed to glance a look at the page before they removed the spy, and now I am fully aware of their plan.

+65 points for removing the spy.

+165 points for having the spy there in the first place.

May 14th, 2009: 505 points

 

 

Points so far:

1117 points of fakeness.

 

 

Useful links:

  1. Part 1: A disection of  Some Sniper News
  2. Part 2: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 1: First unlockable Weapon
  3. Part 3: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 2: New Maps
  4. Part 4: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 3: Second Unlockable Weapon
  5. Part 5: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 4: Spy Catalog
  6. Part 6: Some Sniper Update Truth
  7. Part 7: Interviews with important people concerning Sniper Updates
  8. Part 8: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 5: Unnanounced
  9. Part 9: Analysis of the Sniper Update -Day 6: Unnanounced
  10. Part 10: The Truth